Perfectionism

In the self-development world the topic of perfectionism is pretty hot and trendy right now.

Wikipedia writes: “… a personality trait characterized by a person's striving for flawlessness and setting high performance standards, accompanied by critical self-evaluations and concerns regarding others' evaluations…”.

I suppose we all have some notion of what perfectionism is, but there are many forms, some more ‘visible’ or ‘detectable’ than others, even to ourselves. Here are some of the aspects you may recognize. These are not separate categories; it’s quite common to experience several of these:

• Spending a lot of time on details, losing track of the bigger picture
• The need to check and ‘check again’, without ever being satisfied with the result, even after the task has been completed
• Worrying about what other people will have to say about x, y, z
• Giving up before you’ve even started; an ideal recipe for avoiding disappointment, at least in the short run
• Often feeling like 'it’s never good enough', being very strict on your thinking, behavior, performance, … and generally being quite harsh towards others too
• Setting a goal and as soon as you reach it, setting a higher goal, without really enjoying or being proud of your accomplishment
• Feeling the need to control situations, people, etc. leaving little room for improvisation or an element of surprise

Needless to say that after a number of years perfectionists can be under a lot of stress, which can eventually lead to (serious) burnout.

Luckily there are fantastic methodologies available to us today that can help transform the perfectionist if he or she wishes to do so. And as a (former) perfectionist myself, I am happy to see that there is a growing awareness around the topic.

However, I do feel that the positive sides of perfectionism (post transformation) are not much talked about. A bit more knowledge about these could potentially take away some of the resistances and anxieties that exist for those of us who would like to make changes.

In my own life I have noticed a major shift after letting go of the unwanted mechanisms of perfectionism: it ‘birthed’ a striving for quality and a true joy in doing a good (enough :-)) job. Going the extra mile without pushing, and thinking out of the box and being adventurous when the situation requires it are elements that brought a lot of ‘light & air’ into my work and life.

If you feel like you want to make changes in your ‘perfectionism program’ but you are afraid you may become inefficient and passive, I hope this post will offer you some reassurance...

It’s a lot of fun ‘on the other side of perfectionism’!

© Els De Schaepmeester

For more info on how to work with me: www.thehouseofhealing.info