How to Spice up your Conversations…

We all want to be heard and understood by people when we talk to them.
But we often feel like we’re not. Connecting with others is an art form in and of itself. To experience flow and real ‘exc hange’ in a conversation it requires knowledge and practice.
And no matter to which degree you are struggling, we have all been in this situation. ..

In order to have more fulfilling conversations there are a few things that are helpful in almost any circumstance:

1) Ask (open end) questions with a genuine interest to what the response will be.
The person in front of you wants to be heard just as much as you do. By paying attention to your body language (don’t keep looking at your phone!) you are paving the way for new dynamics.
Also, don’t assume that you already know the answer;  you might be surprised…

2) Add feeling to what it is you are talking about.
For instance: if you’ve just changed jobs a few weeks ago your conversation partner will be more compelled to listen to your story when you go beyond simply ‘stating the facts’.
New tasks and responsibilities aside, reveal some of your ‘inner world’. If there’s a certain aspect of your job that you find challenging, tell them how you FEEL about this.
Share some of the ‘good’ (the coworkers make you feel welcome) and the ‘bad’ (the coffee is awful). Add some humor to spice things up!

Practicing this will gradually refine your skills so that – after a while - you don’t have to consciously think about it anymore. It’ll become second nature and you’ll feel much more heard. You’ll understand what it takes to ‘really’ pay attention to someone, which in turn makes them feel better about themselves. It’s a win-win for everyone…

© Els De Schaepmeester

For more info on how to work with me: www.thehouseofhealing.info